Dennis Miller Style

“Now, I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but” when I read the news over at the Wolfire Blog I felt like John Gacy at a Greyhound bus stop. Listen, I’m obviously not above telling the plutocracy off, but at some point the line between information freedom and ass-hattery has to be demarcated.

When the most well known game in an bundle is made by two people and the largest is published by a c tier company, you can’t make a case that you’re fighting the power like a technocrat Hugo Chavez. Stealing the Humble Indie Bundle is as disgusting as Bob Dylan selling tacos, only Zimmy will still leave behind a legacy of innovation and hard-earned rebellion from the status quo. It’s not even like they were inflating their prices in an effort to sucker would-be hippsters into coughing up significant chunks of income. You could pay whatever you wanted, down to $.01. One cent doesn’t even register as actual currency in Europe, and still you bastards needed to pirate it.

The worst of it is the proceeds of this sale were going to two very important charities. Child’s Play is literally working to provide a glimmer of relief to children caught amidst the most Lovecraftian horrors modern society knows.  Because 25% of the PC populace with expendable time has douche bag contests with Jenny McCarthy, hundreds of children will stare into the abyss without the small comfort of escapism. If that weren’t enough, these imbecilic Narcissuses work against their own interest by denying funding to the only group crafty and daring enough to defend their actions. The EFF stood to take in money that would have been used to help net neutrality, fight the DMCA, promote free speech, and protect the consumer’s digital rights.

So who are these belligerent, child hating, freedom wrecking fucktards? ICP Fans.

Of course that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.